Today only good fortune and the last bit of awareness I had within me saved my room from becoming filled with at least 100 fruit flies. I keep wingless fruit fly cultures for my dart frogs (as one does) and they can occasionally become contaminated by flighted ones. Apparently, the winged gene is dominant to a ridiculous degree; all of the flies in that container I opened outside just flew off, leaving not a single small wingless fly behind.
If by any chance someone is reading this and also has fly cultures: please do not open your cultures if the flies seem to be moving suspiciously fast. Something about the wings makes them so much quicker when crawling about. It's the only thing that made me look closer before popping that lid open indoors.